Scene from "Mom"
Thinking—and talking—about Alzheimers
MOM, a film dramatizing a moment in the lives of an Alzheimer’s patient and her caregiver-daughter, lasts only 10 minutes but manages to convey a surprising amount of implicit information about coping with the disease. Perhaps most importantly, the film packs an emotional punch that underscores the heartbreaking realities of Alzheimer’s.
MOM’s greatest asset is as a catalyst for discussion. Sarah has brought her mother home from the nursing facility for a visit. They sit comfortably together in the sunny backyard drinking tea, though their conversation is hardly relaxing. Nearly ever exchange between Sarah and her mother, who are sometimes joined by Sarah’s patient, understanding male assistant, exemplifies some aspect of the Alzheimer’s experience.
One of the most difficult things about the disease is the mutual frustration of both caregiver and sufferer. Sarah’s mom becomes repeatedly distressed recalling a vague incident during which another woman was “mean” to her.
The film movingly depicts Sarah’s quickly escalating frustration as she is forced to repeat the same information or assurances to her parent. Recently she moved her mother to a nicer room in the nursing home, but the older wman keeps insisting that she has been moved to a brand new facility and misses her friends.
Relief comes, ironically, from her mother’s tendency to be easily distracted, a blessing for Sarah, giving her moments of peace. When her mother becomes agitated near the end of the film, Sarah points out the hummingbirds that always bring a smile to the older woman’s face. “My friends,” she calls the birds.
But most overwhelming is Sarah’s heartache when it becomes clear that a beloved, long familiar person is no longer who she once was. The first few times the male assistant appears, Sarah’s mother thinks he looks familiar—by the end of the film she doesn’t recognize him at all. She even forgets that it is her own daughter with whom she has been speaking the entire time. Despite its brevity, MOM draws us into charged moments like this, making us empathize with anyone—caregiver or sufferer—coping with the unique pressures and the emotional ups and downs of this distressing disease.
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